I have a love/hate relationship with my long hair. It's the most annoying and most wonderful thing ever. Malting is a real issue, washing it takes about a year and good luck finding time to create a style other than a messy bun thats as big as your head. But I wouldn't have it any other way - 'cos who doesn't secretly dream of being mermaid?
Here's all the things that are way too real for long-haired chicks. Now flip your hair back and forth like Willow Smith tells us - just make sure you've got your tangle teezer at hand though.
1. A 50ml/travel-sized conditioner just isn't an option and you wonder how they last anyone more than two washes
2. Having to keep hair ties with you at ALL times
Waking up at someone else's house without one is a genuine phobia.
3. When 'I'm washing my hair' is a genuine reason you can't make plans, rather than just one they use in the movies
You have to set aside a whole night to wash it 'cos it takes so freaking long.
4. You've cried a couple of times after a traumatic experience with a scissor-happy hairdresser
5. You wear it up 90% of the time 'cos any other style takes too much time and effort
6. ...but the 'messy bun' you try out is the same size as your head and always leans to the left cos it's so damn heavy
7. Being in constant battle between: 'I've got long swishy hair I wanna show off' and 'If I wear my hair down it's gonna be in my eyes and annoy me all day'
8. Finding random long hairs from your mane hidden in your butt crack is a common thing for you and totally no big deal
9. You DREAD combing through it after it's been washed. OUCH
10. You moult worse than your pet does
It's like leaving a Hansel and Gretel trail everywhere you go but not as carb-laden as breadcrumbs.
9. Never finishing your conditioner and shampoo bottles at the same time, even though the bottles are exactly the same size
Damn that conditioner always finishing 183939 times quicker.
10. Blow drying is a distant memory 'cos ain't nobody got time for that
Let it dry over night and be done with it.
11. Just laughing at the conditioner label instructing you to use a '50p sized amount' as you squeeze out a palm sized splodge bigger than your hand
Who are these people writing this guide for 'cos it certainly ain't you.
12. Getting through serums and oils at an alarmingly quick rate - the bottle is finished and you've only just bought it
Having long hair is an expensive game.
13. This is a common sight for you:
14. You were super thankful when matte lips became a thing because the sticky lip-gloss trend was just an absolute no no 'cos wind
The hairy-lipped look was never a good one.
15. Cuddling up to your boyfriend is always done between a blanket of hair over your faces
Mmmmmmm hairy kisses.
16. Getting your hair stuck in the hair dryer fan... as well as car doors on the regular
17. ...And don't even get us started on zips
18. Finding hair in your food and demanding to see the manager... before realising it's just your own
Whoops, my bad.
19. Your arms get tired after plaiting your hair
That's an upper-arm workout for life right there.
20. Having to regularly buy claw clips cos the plastic teeth all break off with one use
21. Getting a killer headache from having your hair up all day
22. Having to stand up to get your hair cut and having two people blow dry and detangle it
23. That moment when you see something in the corner of your eye that looks suspiciously like a spider only to discover it's just your hair
24. ...Or feeling something crawling over your arm. Yep, just another loose hair.
25. After washing your clothes you find random long hairs or little balls of it that resemble aforementioned spiders threaded into them
26. Dry shampoo is an absolute LIFE LINE
27. When you read how good little maintenance and once-a-week washing is for hair condition, you give a mental fist pump cos you've unintentionally been doing that your whole life
28. Having your straightened hair looking lit at the start of the night, only for it to turn into a mass of matted knots by midnight
29. There's no point wearing strapless dresses or bardot tops 'cos your slender shoulders are completely hidden by your mane
30. Regularly considering cutting the whole thing off and getting a bob but knowing you'll never actually do it 'cos you're scared and love being a mermaid IRL
Long haired gals out there, can you relate? Let us know @SofeminineUK!
You might also like: